Crimson Tears
by kaehimi
Summary: Having problems with life, Bakura began to hurt himself purposely, seeking relief. What happens when he gets addicted to self-inflicted injuries? Chapter 11 Uploaded
1. The Prologue

Blade

By Kaehimi

Summary:

Having problems with life, Bakura began to hurt himself purposely, looking for relief. What happens when he gets addicted to self-inflicted injuries?

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

"The Prologue"

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Bakura's Point of View...

I woke up and white people surrounded me. I wondered if I was dead, but I knew I wasn't. Everything hurt too much.

What was going on? Where was I? My arms stung, but then when I usually awoke confused, that's what it felt like. I opened my eyes a little and saw red with the white. Where was the source of all that blood? I slowly scanned the room, but couldn't locate its source. I felt dizzy, so I closed my eyes again.

"He's awake." I heard someone whisper.

I opened my eyes again. Looking around because my mind demanded answers, I saw a computer beep. The hospital. I was in the hospital.

"Just relax." Someone said as they injected me with something. By the look of sadness mixed with shock on his face, I guess that they discovered it. So now they knew it all...

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Kaehimi: Gosh, I've been reading too much about self-mutilation. Anyway, this is just to test the idea out, I probably won't continue.


	2. The Beginning

Crimson Tears

By Kaehimi

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

"The Beginning"

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Bakura's Point of View...

__

~I remembered...

It had started in school that fateful day, while I was tightening a bolt with a wrench. I accidentally caught my palm, and squeezed it. "Ow!" I exclaimed as dropped my tools with a clang. I examined my hand, and saw a small blister forming. It was red, and I realized that I had cut myself, but not my skin. The blood was building under my thin layer of skin. The pressure was growing, and I felt the need to pop it.

The bell rang, and I looked up, just noticing that I had spent the majority of my class not working on my project, but watching the blood form. I gathered my books and then left, being careful not to touch my palm.

The whole day at school, I spent not listening. My thoughts were only directed at my hand. It amazed me how much pressure could build up. Finally, the day was over and I hurried home.

I opened the door, still looking at my hand. It was...perculiar. I flipped on the lights of my kitchen and got a sharp knife out of the drawer. I lightly tapped the "blood blister" and it exploded. Small trickles of blood slid down my fingers as I let my hand flop limply. It was so...there is no word to describe the relief I felt. I had, unknowingly, poured many of my frustrations and aggravations into that little blister.

I wondered if this could work with everything...

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Lapse of Time...

'The skin is such a fascinating organ.' I thought as I turned my forearm to the lamp's soft glow. I had been trying to do my homework, but I could not concentrate. My arm's smooth, flawless completion met my eyes as I peered closer. There was absolutely nothing on it, and the pale white looked too perfect to my sight.

'Should not one's outer appearance mirror their inner emotions?' I wondered. 'Don't people dress according to their mood?' A grim look plastered to my face, I reached for the scissors next to me, which I had been cutting magazines with. Gently, I slid the tip of my finger over the inner blade.

It was so sharp.

Looking closer at my finger, I realized that there was the slightest line of parted skin. I pried it to the side, using my left hand. Two pieces of skin were on either side of the small crevasse. The pain was bittersweet. It hurt o know that my life was not just a dream, or a nightmare that was very realistic. Yet, it felt amazing to know that I was in control of at least one factor in this roller coaster known as "my" life.

The world spins, the days just past by. And my life slips through my fingers. I slowly lifted the scissors, and poised them in a position that only needed the slightest movement before it could pierce my flesh.~

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Kaehimi: I finally updated! ^_^ If you are curious about self-mutilation, read A Bright Red Scream by Marilee Strong.

Excuse of the Chapter: STILL busy trying to convince my boyfriend to go trick-or-treating with me as Bakura. Curses, why do boys have to be so stubborn?


	3. The Ignored Emotions

Crimson Tears

By Kaehimi

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

"The Ignored Emotions"

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Bakura's Point of View...

_~I stopped and immediately put the scissors down as I realized what I was doing. I was trying to hurt myself! I had read somewhere in a magazine that it was called..."self-mutilation". The article had talked about a woman who had cut herself and then stuck needles into her skin. It gave me nightmares for weeks._

I pushed back my chair and stood up. I stretched before flipping off the lights, I got into bed and was soon asleep.

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Lapse of Time...

The next morning, I barely remembered what had taken place the night before. I got up, got to school, and went through the whole day like I normally did. I was just there, and no one noticed. Why did no one ever realize I was there, and that I was a person too?

The principal asked to speak to me after school, it seemed that he was worried about me staying home all the time by myself. I told him that my dad traveled a lot with his work, and I was used to living on my own. He didn't seem to believe me.

I hoped they wouldn't do anything too drastic. Once before, when I was around three years old, my aunt had tried to take me from my father. She said that he didn't know anything about children, and that with my mother gone, I would never receive a "proper upbringing". The principal nodded as I told him- again- how I was perfectly fine. But he still didn't trust the fact that I was okay.

I groaned inwardly as he picked up the phone. He punched one number, but I couldn't see which, and another, and another. I shifted impatiently in the stiff chair. Looking down, I pretended my shoelace was suddenly very interesting, and leaned down to tie it. I untied it, tied it again, and untied it again. The principal just kept on talking. I guessed my father was on the other end of the line.

I tied the shoelace, and then moved to work on my right shoe. I tied that one, pulling up and down, then looked up when someone called my name. It was the principal, motioning me to the phone. I picked it up, and whispered a greeting.

"Bakura?" It was my aunt. "You should really come live with me. What is my brother-in-law thinking, leaving you alone like that?"

I sighed, explained to her that I was fine. Teachers always say to pay attention to what others say so that you don't ask the same questions. Why don't adults listen to them? I had explained at least four times today how I liked being alone.

I finally handed the phone back and was dismissed. I pushed the door open and strode outside. The breezy fall weather met my face, and leaves swirled around me. The wind rustled my hair, and I took a deep breath. The trees were shutting down so that they could survive throughout the winter, and I felt like a long nap too. How I envied them! All they did was take carbon dioxide, water, and sunlight in to produce oxygen and glucose. How simple their life was.

I decided to stop by a bakery to pick up a roll to munch on, and I hurried across the street. I smiled at the owner, who was very close to me. I will never understand, but watching people cook is so relaxing. When I first moved here, several years ago, I had stopped by this bakery and, curious, asked the owner how he made all the "yummy food". He showed me to his kitchen behind the counter, and ever since that, I have been fascinated. 

I myself can never cook, I've learned that the hard way.

Today, the owner of the bakery looked unhappy. "Hello," I greeted, then cocked my head to one side. "What's wrong?"

He smiled at me, his face filled with melancholy. "We're going out of business, Bakura."

It hit me like a wet, hard snowball. "No..." I whispered.

He nodded sadly.

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Lapse of Time...

I burst through the door, and slammed it behind me. Leaning against it, I gasped for the air my lungs cried for. Nothing was going right, was it?

I entered the kitchen, and saw the knife that I had used to pop the blood blister. Would it work? Well, I would find out now. Once again, I lifted a blade and placed it on the edge of my forearm...~

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Kaehimi: I made up some family history...hope it's not too wacked. ^_^ 

Anyways, do you think Yami Bakura should be in this? Thankies!

Excuse of the Chapter: It's my birthday, I can write if I want to, write if I want too... (October 26 is my actual B'Day.)


	4. The First

Crimson Tears

By Kaehimi

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

"The First"

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Bakura's Point of View...

_~I saw the sleek silver of the blade, with a few tiny drops of dried that had splattered on it when I had popped my blood blister. I saw my pale skin. I saw the blade again, this time close to my arm. I vaguely remember sitting down, a towel in my lap, my arm on the white towel, and the blade clenched in my other fist. I gently drew the dull side of the knife from the center of my palm to my elbow, trying to follow the large vein. _

Of course, it didn't pierce my skin. It tingled with an almost nice sensation. I enjoyed the light feeling for a few seconds until it faded away. I felt so much better, and decided that I didn't have to draw blood. I rinsed the blood from the knife that had caked onto it from yesterday and slid it into the kitchen knife holder.

I glanced at the clock and realized that it had been ten minutes. For ten minutes all there were was the blade and my arm. It neutralized the effects of the day.

I craved that thrill that I received as I slid the knife across my skin more, but I held against it. Since that was all that I really needed, I would not go further.

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Lapse of Time...

I walked over to the Public Library, and headed for the section on mental illnesses. Dewey Decimal System, 616, and I found it. I picked out a couple books on cutting, self-mutilation, and several other books of a similar topic. I checked them out, ignoring the weird looks the librarian gave me, and walked home.

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Lapse of Time...

I was reading my book when the door opened and my aunt stepped in. I looked up in surprise as a few policemen came in too. "This is my nephew, and he's all alone," she explained to them.

"I see, ma'am." One said.

I got up and walked towards her, a confused look on my face.

"Don't worry, my little Bakura," she hugged me, but I stood stiffly. "You can come live with me, away from that man who leaves you by yourself all the time."

I froze.~

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Kaehimi: Yami Bakura will be in this, since it seems that what people want. ^_^ Since I can't seem to write more than half a page without getting a good idea for a cliffie, I will update more often (at least once per week) to make up for the short chappies.

Thankies for the pixi stix! ^______________________^ YUM!

I'm going to be Change of Heart for Halloween. 

Excuse of the Chapter: Preparing my lesson plan, blech.


	5. The Ring

Crimson Tears

By Kaehimi

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

"The Ring"

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Bakura's Point of View...

_~My father returned from his dig in Egypt on an overnight flight to go to court with me. My aunt wanted me to move in with her, but both my father and I disagreed. I didn't really mind my aunt, but I was terrified of my uncle. He...seemed to drink too much. Anyhow, it took nearly two weeks, but we finally won the case. I returned to school and my father returned to his job._

I spent most of that week working on making up the homework that I had missed. Nothing much happened until my father came back from his trip.

He had good news and bad news, and whenever he says that, I get worried.

"So, what do you want to hear first?"

"Bad news." I replied, lowering his suitcase to the ground.

"The bad news is also the good news." He turned to face me. "We're moving."

I dropped the other bag I was holding. Sure, I wasn't the most popular person in school or the star of the football team, but at least I knew the people here. If we were to leave, I would most likely never see them again. "Oh..."

My father bent down to my eye level. "Bakura," He said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry- everything will be all right."

"When?"

"In three days, I already have everything planned." He stood up and walked up the stairs. "Hurry up and start packing, son!"

I stood there, still trying to absorb the shock. Well, maybe things could be better. A new home meant a new beginning, which basically meant I had the chance to change everything about myself. 'Nah...' I thought, and followed my father up the stairs.

"Bakura? Come here, I have something for you." I entered his bedroom as he held up an artifact. It was a beautiful golden ring, shining as if it had just been polished. There was a pyramid with the Eye of Horus in the center of it. On the outside, there were five arrowheads connected to the body with rings. "I think it's called a Millennium Ring, the man who sold it to me said it had something to do with the card game, Duel Monsters." Here he paused. "I feel...like you were destined for it." He tossed it to me, and I just caught it.

It felt nice, with its leather string it looked like a necklace. Without hesitation, I slipped it over my neck. It felt perfect.

"I have to go arrange some things, I'll be back soon." My father said as he exited, giving me a pat on the head.

As soon as the door slammed shut, the Millennium Ring began to glow...~

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Kaehimi: Well, here comes Yami Bakura, sorry that was a short chappie! 

YAY, lotsa reviews!

Thankies to StarStruck for the GIANT pixi stick and for the Favorites List! ^_^

Excuse of the Chapter: A dragon burned down my town.


	6. The Master

Crimson Tears

By Kaehimi

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

"The Master"

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Bakura's Point of View...

_~I looked at it, shocked. Now the glow had grown to envelop me within its eerie light._

I felt something within me move, and saw a ghostly image separate from my body and solidify. Lifting its head, it stared into my nearly identical face.

"So..." Its voice was a hiss. "You are the one to possess the Millennium Ring."

"Who...who are you?" I barely had the time to finish my question when it picked me up by my collar and slammed me against the wall. I gasped for air as it knocked the oxygen from my lungs. I was now perfectly pinned against the wall, terrified.

"I am your master, the spirit of the Millennium Ring," he growled, leaning close towards me. His face filled my sight. I tried to squirm and break free, but he lifted and held me inches above the ground. I could feel my throat closing in and I began to see black spots on the edges of my vision. They multiplied, dancing closer, and I finally gave in and succumbed to the eternal darkness.

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Lapse of Time...

When I woke up, I was in bed. I had no memory of how I had gotten there, but I noticed that somebody had tucked me in. Probably my father.

I massaged my bruised throat gently, wincing at the pain. My thoughts wandered back to the spirit that had come from my Millennium Ring. I wondered who he was, what he wanted with me...

I finally shook it off as a dream of sorts and got out of bed. It was a Saturday, so there wasn't any school. I found several folded up cardboard boxes outside the door to my room, with a note attached to one of them. Picking it up, I read,

Bakura:

Left early to rent a truck. Please pack today. We will be leaving on Sunday.

-Dad

__

With a small sigh, I picked up the boxes, carried them into my room, and began packing.

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Lapse of Time...

Before I knew it, I was sitting in the passenger seat of the moving truck my father had rented and was waving goodbye to my old home. I watched the trees outside the window, and unbidden tears rose behind my eyes.

No one had come to bid me farewell. I blinked back the tears, being careful that my father didn't see them and shrugged it off. 'They probably didn't know.' I assured myself.

{Don't kid yourself.} I jumped at a voice inside my head.

"Hello?" I whispered, and my father looked over at me.

"Something wrong?"

I shook my head, no, and direct my gaze outside the window once again. {Lame excuse for not having any friends.} There it was again!

I panicked for a second, and then tried to communicate. {Hello?} I tried.

{Took you long enough.} The message was filled with contempt. {Remember me?}

The spirit from the Millennium Ring!~

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Kaehimi: Yes, I know that was lame, now you think Yami Bakura's gonna torture Bakura, and in doing so, force him to hurt himself even more? Well, you may be surprised...or not...*evil grin* 

Thank you, Knight de Fire, for the awesome caffeine pills! ^_^ Whee!

Excuse of the Chapter: Researching the topic- self-mutilation is much more complicated than most people think!


	7. The Move

Crimson Tears

By Kaehimi

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

"The Move"

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Bakura's Point of View...

_~Unfortunately, it seemed the Spirit had taken a disliking to me. {Be afraid, mortal.} He sent to my mind. {Be very afraid.}_

And so I was. He had said he was my master, so should I refer to him like that? I wasn't sure and I really did not want to offend this Spirit. {My title is Master Yami Bakura.} I sensed him smirk at my discomfort. {Or just Master.}

{Okay...Master.}

{That's a good mortal.} He didn't sound as cruel as he had seemed.

'How can we communicate like this?' I wondered as I watched us speed by farms.

{You don't become a tomb robber without picking some tricks along the way.} He scoffed. {I was- and still am- the greatest tomb robber. I can find any trap, open any entrance, steal anything and still come out alive.} For the rest of the trip, I listened to the Spirit's life story. It was actually quite fascinating.

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Lapse of Time...

We had finally arrived at our new house, and I was in the back of the truck, trying to gather a few boxes when I heard something. I turned around, but didn't see anything. So I picked up another box and headed toward the exit when I heard it again. Creak, creak. I looked at a shelf, which seemed to be where the noise originated. I stood still and held my breath, but nothing happened.

Turning back to the task at hand, I started up again. One minute I was walking out, and the next, someone pushed me. "FOOL!" It was the Spirit again! As I flew out of the truck, one of my father's large bookcases fell over in the spot where I had just been standing. 'So that's what the noise was!' I trembled, shaken by the fact that I could have been seriously injured.

Suddenly, my father rushed out of the house. "My shelf!" He ran right past me toward his precious books, which he obviously prized above all- including me. I picked up the load I had dropped and headed inside.

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Lapse of Time...

That night, as I lay awake, a tear made its way down my cheek and onto my pillow. Another followed, and soon my pillow was soaked. From beside my bed, the Millennium Ring glowed and the Spirit came out. He looked at me with a strange look on his face. I ignored him- I was too upset.

"Stop it." He commanded.

To my surprise, I glared at him. "No." My voice dripped with defiance, and I was ready to rebel. I had not yet gotten a chance to express my feelings, and I couldn't use a knife while my father was home.

As was expected, I guess, he grabbed me by my shirt and pulled me out of bed. "You dare disobey me?!"

"Yes." I put all my strength in that one word.

He looked shocked for a moment, then he chuckled. "It takes a lot of courage to stand up to me, mortal. I-" He closed his mouth and dropped me. Then he walked to the other side of the room and threw me a washcloth. "Now stop crying." He vanished after that, returning to the Ring.

After I wiped my eyes, I tucked myself in and for the first time in a while, smiled. "Thank you, Spirit," I whispered as I descended into the depths of sleep.~

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Kaehimi: Another chappie! O_O 

Thanks you: Kay, Knight de Fire, StarStruck, Sento-Kami, DemonessKymorie, and everybody else!

Excuse of the Chapter: Studying the Writer's Block, every writer's greatest enemy! ^_~


	8. The First Day

Crimson Tears

By Kaehimi

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

"The First Day"

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Bakura's Point of View...

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~I walked through the hallway, trying to find the room, A212. I had absolutely no idea where it was, so I just stumbled through the empty corridors looking at every door. When I finally reached my classroom, I took a step in, and in doing so, interrupted the teacher mid-sentence.

Mistake #1.

She paused and turned toward me, hands on hips. "Who are you?" She demanded.

"Bakura Ryou." She gave me a stern look. She seemed sort of old for a teacher, and also looked like the kind of person who stuck with first impressions.

"Really?" She took her attendance book from her desk and checked it over. "You don't seem to be on my list."

"I just transferred here." I explained, shifting from one foot to another. I felt strange to have a whole class staring at me.

Mistake #2.

"I expect students to stand still when they are addressing me." She shot me another nasty look before scribbling down my name. "And what makes you think you can walk into my class, 10 minutes late?" 

"I was lost, I didn't know how to get here..." Unsure of what to say, I trailed off. The whole class snickered.

"I also expect students to be here on time, and never leave a sentence like that." She pointed at the seat next to her desk. "You can sit here." She picked up her marker and took up writing again.

I felt my face flush as I took the seat.

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Lapse of Time...

The morning seemed to take forever. It was finally lunch and the whole class filed down to the cafeteria. I noticed that most people didn't have any lunch boxes, and instead, had money with them. I soon realized that nearly no one packed lunch- everyone bought.

Lunch wasn't that bad, I suppose. I sat by myself and at least no one really bothered me. A couple kids pointed at me and giggled, but otherwise than that, nothing happened.

Recess was the bad part. 

I was just about to put on my coat and go outside to the playground just like everyone else, when the teacher stopped me. "Excuse me, but you are required to write out 100 times, 'I will not be late for class' before you can go out." I stared at her for a moment then sighed. Taking the paper she handed me, I sat down and began writing.

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Lapse of Time...

It was time for music class and everyone sat down. The music room didn't have desks, only chairs arranged to look like an orchestra. The teacher, who was very enthusiastic, smiled at me and gave me a seat in the front row. As soon as I saw down, the boy next to me got up and moved away.

The teacher frowned and said, "John, Bakura is all alone. Please return to your seat." The boy- John- was about to protest, but the music teacher wasn't going to accept his complaint. "Now, please." He sighed and complied, all the while muttering under his breath that he didn't want to sit next to the "stupid new kid".

The rest of the day was worse. I couldn't wait until I got home and could talk to the Spirit. Or to use my knife.~

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Kaehimi: I tried to make it sound like he was in elementary school, or something like that. Happy Holidays, everyone!

Excuse of the Chapter: AWWW...my new boyfriend gave me this beautiful silver and golden necklace. He is so sweet! ^_^


	9. The Savior

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Crimson Tears

By Kaehimi

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

"The Savior"

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~I stepped out the door and held it open for the person behind me. As I tried to pass the weight of it onto her, she ignored me and just walked right out. I started to close it again, but more and more people came out. My new school, unlike my old one, went from grades K-12. I could sense the Spirit snickering in his soul room. After my class was all out, the older students began to walk out. I groaned inwardly. If I closed it now, I would probably get ground into a pulp. {Smart kid, eh?} The Spirit laughed.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed my arm and firmly pulled me away from the door. "No, you're doing it wrong." He said to me. "This is what you're supposed to do," he explained and then slammed the door on a group of seniors with a resounding bang. There were several shouts of protest, but they died out within heartbeats. I turned to see my rescuer and my breath caught in my throat.

Firstly, he was approximately three times my height. I tilted my heard back and looked up into fierce black eyes. Secondly, he was very pale and closely resembled a ghost. Thirdly, chains were draped around him. "T-thanks..." I said, barely whispering. He cleared his throat, and then walked off with a flurry of a trench coat.

{Lucky.} The Spirit scoffed. {Quite lucky indeed.}

I agreed quickly, and then hurried off home.

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Lapse of Time...

I opened the door and turned on the kitchen lights. Like always, no one was home, and my footsteps echoed through the hallway. I flicked every light switch I saw, and soon felt so much better. Although it was still light outside, the house was very black. {I wonder why it's so dark in here?} I asked the Spirit.

In response, he appeared in front of me and whacked me over the head playfully. "Don't ask **me** questions, save them for yourself."

I rubbed my head, but grinned. The Spirit was in a good mood, and that could never be bad. It seemed the day was taking a turn for the better.

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Lapse of Time...

The afternoon went great, and not once did I look at the kitchen knife. However, the Spirit said that I should always expect the worse, and that something bad would be bound to happen. I didn't think so. Perhaps I could make friends with the students in my class tomorrow...

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Lapse of Time…

The next day, I woke up bright and early to prepare for school. So what if I had a horrible teacher? I felt like nothing could ever go wrong again. {You're being an idiot. Stop being so upbeat and happy!} The Spirit warned me from the Millennium Ring. {Happiness, friendship, trust. They get you nowhere in the real world!} 

Sounded like he was in a bad mood now. But I didn't care. I always was a morning person, and I gladly ignored him as I toasted a waffle for breakfast. {Want one?} I asked. I did not get any answer except for a mind block. I shrugged and continued pouring syrup on my food. 

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Lapse of Time...

I arrived at school not much later, and was the first one seated at my desk. My teacher was looking at me with a suspicious look, but I ignored it. I was not going to let her dampen my spirit.

Several more students arrived, chatting among themselves. I sat alone and watched them. My enthusiasm soon subsided and the Spirit laughed at me. I decided to bury my head in my arms until the bell rang. The teacher stood up to take attendance and pronounced my name completely wrong. Purposely. She shot me scowls while the class laughed. {Poor little Ryou...} The Spirit taunted me along with the teacher. I tried to concentrate on my breathing.

The whole day, everyone did little things to me. All my pencils went missing, and I was too frightened to ask the teacher to borrow one. Instead, I left my test blank and failed it. I had to get it signed. During lunch, I tried to buy food like everyone else, but someone tripped me and it went flying. I spent recess cleaning up the cafeteria. Back in class, I zoned off talking to the Spirit when the teacher called on me. Another **huge** mistake.

The only class I had been looking forward to was music, but the teacher made my skip it and write on the board 200 times, "I will always listen in class". {What an incredibly cruel teacher.} The Spirit commented as I painstakingly wrote the phrase over and over. This time, I ignored him. 

As I wrote, my hand began to hurt. I was very bored, and I could barely keep writing. Of course, I would probably not finish in time before the rest of the class returned, and everyone would see me. {How can this get any worse?} I asked myself, and the Spirit actually answered.

{Don't ever get too happy - it will end before you know it,} He reminded me. I made a mental note to heed his advice from henceforth. The Spirit then added, almost as an afterthought, {By the way, the knife is always there...} I smiled at the thought of relief, but quickly wiped it from my face when the teacher glared at me.~

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Kaehimi: I am in very big rush...sorry!

Excuse of the Chapter: I have some good advice, Never fall asleep in class. 


	10. The Letter

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Crimson Tears 

Kaehimi

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

"The Letter"

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~The next day was just as bad. As was the next, and the next. The only people I talked to were the Spirit and my Savior, which was what I named him. They were the two pillars keeping me standing up, and without them, I surely would have tumbled much earlier. As it was, even they did not manage to prop me upright forever. No, I wish they could have, but the rocks being hurtled at my structure overwhelmed them.

  
It was a Friday, normally the best day of the week for a student. But no, not me. Not in the least, hence every day was a nightmare come true. For some strange reason, everyone automatically hated me. Well, I never did anything to them, but what did they care? I was their scapegoat; the one blamed for everything they wanted to. Trust me, I was a very good one.

  
People say, "Don't fight back". They promise that in return "Bullies will leave you alone if you ignore them". I never understood that, would ignoring one seeking attention only further infuriate them? I suppose it works for everyone else. Except me of course. Because I don't deserve to be left alone. I am the one who is behind everything that goes wrong. Somehow...somehow I know I am.

  
So I let them hurt me. Why not? I suppose one can adjust to anything. Looking back on it now, I simply cannot understand my choices. Perhaps it was a difference in a state of mind...

  
I still remember clearly, it was a Friday. I was exhausted from writing thanks to the fact that now I was in the thousands. 'I will try harder, work more, and be better', was my current assignment. I was to write it 3,000 times for homework. Of course, if I had not done it, things would have only gotten worse. Perchance I did not have the will to go on, or maybe I was just too exhausted? Anyhow, the reason didn't matter, for I did not manage to finish it. That was the cause. The effect? Quite predictable, actually: another thousand.

  
What an absolutely splendid wonderful mixture. Everyone hates me, no one cares whether I exist, I will never live up to anyone's standards, and I don't know if I even want to go on anymore. That sounded strangely like something the Spirit would have said. 'He must be rubbing off on me,' I thought, intrigued by the idea. But I shrugged it off; I was on the fence between giving up and striving to retrieve what had been taken from me.

  
Little did I know that what would happen next would not only push me off and over the fence - but it would shove me with such force even now, I doubt I can ever return.

  
I had fallen asleep in class, much to everyone's amazement. I was quite shocked myself, normally managing to stay awake. Nevertheless, it was not surprising that my classmates took advantage of my closed eyes. Why was I not surprised when I was awoken by screams of fury? I had probably expected it to happen eventually...

  
I had been having a pleasant dream of a field, where no one was bothering me. I was all alone to do whatever I wished, and it was a very nice sensation. No one taunted me, teased me, or hurt me. The perfect hiding spot. My mind was a safe haven, and I longed to live in it and shut the world off. But alas, it was not so. I awoke to a stern face screeching in mine, speaking of the nerve I had to fall asleep, how I had gone too far this time.

  
I really couldn't have cared less until something made my ears perk up. "I swear, this is the last straw. How dare you write this?!" My eyes opened slowly, sagging with sleep. What was going on again? A few blinks helped clear my blurry vision, and everything sharpened, returning to their rightful places. The teacher seemed to have some sort of notebook in her hands, and was reading from it.

  
"Wow, this class sucks. This teacher sucks. She can't teach at all. She's horrible. I hate her. She is stupid. Wow. It is unbelievable how stupid she is. I can't believe it. She is dumb and stupid." I wondered where had that come from as the teacher paused, and shot me a glare that would have shriveled even the brightest flowers. "This is unacceptable! You will write me an apology letter at once, and then I shall escort you down to the principal's office!"

  
Ahh, so my classmates had set me up, had they? It must have been Jerald's idea, for his smirk was the widest. An air of accomplishment along with a certain cruel proudness surrounded him. He was also the only one unintelligent enough to use his own notebook for it. No doubt there were his notes in other pages...

  
My hopes rose slightly, and I received a quick mental nip from the Spirit. {I thought I told you to always expect the worse!} I ignored him, and a sliver of cheerfulness weaseled its way into my heart. The notebook was Jerald; so it couldn't have been me! Evidently, the teacher saw, for the next words out of her mouth addressed them. "Tricky boy, trying to frame Jerald? You naughty little child." With those words, I had to bite back a sigh.

  
{Why do you persist in trying to please these mortals?} Came the growl that was, without a doubt, the Spirit. {They are unworthy of even a low one as yourself, they will do nothing but waste your time!} I ignored him slightly, and focused on my letter. 'Now, what was I going to say?'

  
{Do not apologize, you baka!} The Spirit was furious. Had I not been so tired I would have been trembling, but as it was, I was too exhausted. {You should kill every single one of them!} He went on as I swallowed a yawn and opened my notebook. Taking out a pen, I began to write.

  
'**I am sorry for falling asleep in class, it will not happen again**.' There, that was a good beginning.

  
'**If you would shut up we would actually learn more, you are slowly killing us**,' The next sentence woke me up. I did not mean to write that! What was this? Why was I writing things I did not want to? I tried to stop my hand, but it continued, '**You bitch, why don't you die? When you do, I shall be glad to raid your tomb. You aren't worthy of living and I should banish you to the shadow realm!**' I watched in horror, unable to do anything to stop my hand.

  
{You need to sound more like that,} The sentence echoed in my head and I realized what was happening. The spirit was possessing me!

  
{No, please no,} I pleaded in vain as he continued to write through my body. Evidentially, the Spirit did not like the teacher either and I did not blame him. However, if I were caught, I would be the one who would suffer the consequences, not him.

  
'**I'm sorry for failing every test you give but they are too dull for my intelligence. Who needs it? I can kill steal and break into any lock, so who gives a damn about what you are teaching? You are not teaching anything that will help in real life - so why the fuck should I listen?!**' The swears were getting worse now, and they would most likely get me expelled. I was not even aware he knew curses.

  
'**I should probably run over your heart one day, with one of these modern inventions...it does not matter what they are called**,' The hand paused, and I took the advantage to try to cross off the lines. Any trace of sleepiness had long vanished again the spirit overpowered me the letter continued, '**At least nothing important would be damaged**.'

  
{Heart?} I asked, confused. I could not stop him, so I joined him instead. {What does that mean?}

  
If I could have seen him I got the feeling he would have been shooting me a look that said, 'You do not know anything, do you?!'. Actually, I was not far off, considering the feelings that came through our link from him. {Foolish mortal, the heart is the organ which is responsible for thoughts, did your ancestors tell you anything?!}

  
I blinked, confused. Then I understood. In ancient Egypt, it was believed the heart did the thinking. I crossed out heart and wrote brain instead. The spirit was outraged, {You foolish mortal-}, He began, but I didn't give him the chance to finish. 

  
Strangely, I got the courage to say, {Modern day scientists have proven it is an organ known as the brain which does the thinking.}

  
{Silence! Are you saying I do not know what I am doing?} I shook my head furiously, not wanting to give him the wrong impression. I hoped he wasn't planning to hurt me... I watched as the hand he controlled paused, and ink from my pen dripped out slowly. There was a blob of ink where the tip was, for it had not stopped flowing. The ink was so graceful, so smooth. Had it been red instead of the deep blue it was, it would have most likely resembled blood...

  
My other hand moved to caress the pen, as if it were a wound. My fingers brushed it, slowly, each at a time. I was the blade, the pen was the wound, and the ink was the blood. 'Stroke, stroke', went my hand. 'Twitch, twitch', went the pen. 'Drip, drip', went the ink. It was a wonderful feeling, and I knew from the adrenaline coursing through my veins that I could not stay away from the knife much longer.

  
I was dozing off again when another sudden sound jerked me back to the real world. Someone was shrieking beside me in a very annoying voice. I tried to clear my head by rubbing my eyes, and it worked enough for me to see. I looked to where the howls of anger had been coming from, which was to my right. A face purple with rage glowered down at me and my eyes immediately shot to my desk, where my notebook had been. It was gone, and only a pool of ink met my gaze. Gulping as realization hit me, I tentatively, slowly, looked up.

  
My notebook, with the spirit's message written clearly on the front page, was clutched in my teacher's hands.~

  
  
**Kaehimi: Well, you're lucky I had a horrible night...I was being so nasty to one of the nicest people of all time, and I felt so bad I couldn't sleep the whole night. Insomnia isn't that bad, actually. You get to write!  
  
Anyhow, I want to apologize in case this chapter is a bit OOC. I threw in about two more pages than I normally write, so I hope it's okay. I promise to redo this chapter, and again, thank you for reading! ||Gives bubblegum and lollipops to all readers|| I appreciate your patience, and I swear I won't be so slow again! ^_^**


	11. The Consequence

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Crimson Tears  
  
Kaehimi  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

  
  


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"The Consequence"  


  
_The teacher glared at me, her eyes focused squarely upon mine. Actually, it felt as if every single person in the room was looking at me. I wouldn't have been surprised if that were true. It appeared she had read over the message, which I concluded from the reading glasses placed upon her nose. I did not need them to tell me what had happened, however, for the anger radiating from her was more than enough.  
_

  
For once, the teacher seemed to be at a lost for words. She blinked, the best a creature as imbecilic as her could do. Resembling a squirrel who had recently fallen from a tree almost, except that would be downgrading the squirrel. Obvious, the Spirit heard my metaphor, for his laugher rang through my mind like daring bells of bravery. Frankly, I didn't blame him. The scene would have been quite humorous, had I not been the one in the center of it.

  
  
I choked back a gulp, for I absolutely refused to give her the satisfaction of my fear. For fear was pulsing through me, and the adrenaline, which had subsided, returned. I automatically took up the 'fight or flight' sense of mind, as my breathing quickened. Time seemed to slow for me, and every sound and sight was emphasized.

  
  
Everything faded into a greyscale tone, with the occasional tinges of red. The world swirled as energy soared and my strength grew. Somewhere, a pencil fell, and it hit the ground with a crash that seemed to match the roar of ocean waves against a seashore cliff. For a while, all was silent, and then it returned.

  
  
I could hear my heart thudding, each beat loud and sure, but it was too fast. The clock ticked softly in the background, an ever solid tock. I took comfort in that clock, the way it never changed, never sped up or stopped. With a deep breath and sheer force of will, I pushed my heart to match the gentle ticks. It seemed an eternity before everything fell into their right places, but could not have been more than several seconds.  


  
Looking up, for my gaze had shifted, I stared back. I felt flames rise within me, and from the way they licked hungrily at everything in their pathway, I knew it could not be me. And yet, I was there, watching, and I could feel everything. But this hatred, this unearthly blackness, it could not have been mine. My mind was ripped from my head, as everything I was, my entire self, was pulled. It was as if I was being ejected to make room for something else, and as I soon realized, that was nor far from the truth.

  
  
After being compressed and shoved into a room of some sort, I unfolded myself. Or, I attempted to. Everything was so mussed up, together, cramped. Finally, I somehow managed to stand. Looking around at my surroundings, I concluded I was where the Spirit normally lived. However, the whole place had a light, fluffy sense that could never have belonged to him. This was meant for me. And yet, I somehow knew that somewhere close by, the Spirit had a room of his own. Perhaps it was slightly larger, although I highly doubted the idea.

  
  
No wonder he raged about, trying to get out.

  
  
Well, now that he had control of my body, which I assumed, I suppose there was nothing I could really do. Sitting down in a corner, I pressed my back against the wall, drew my knees to my chest, and waited.

  
  
**Lapse of time...  
**  
Awaking with a sense of blurring in my mind, I yawned and stretched as much as I could. There wasn't a lot of room for that, much less moving around. So I stayed in my almost fetal position, curled up. Like always, sleep crept up upon me while I was vulnerably exhausted, and pulled its black fingers over my eyes. Thank Ra it was dreamless.

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Kaehimi: So much for my 'promise'..._;..._;...This was __supposed_ _to have been posted on August 13, my one year anniversary, but my laptop had to go and die on me, erasing nearly all my files. Thank goodness I had just backed it up recently. ^^; Sorry if it's a bit strange - I am currently down with the sickness. (Aka, I have a horrid cold.) I really appreciate all reviews, and again, I must apologize. So, sorry. =]


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